Disease of a modern age

Sometimes I think that the most common modern affliction on western society is loneliness. It is striking just how many people experience loneliness and how profound that experience can be. People from all parts of society experience loneliness. Sometimes those who'd we least expect. Loneliness can almost drive you crazy. It can make you turn inwards. You imagine the world to be a cold, uncaring place that is full of people who have no interest in you. It can also make you behave in a strange way, a way that can drive others away without you even realising it. Loneliness can cause, or be a product of, depression.

The faces of loneliness varies enormously. It can be the divorced parent who does not have custody of the children, it can be a young man living on his own, it can be migrant who cannot speak the language of her new country, an alcoholic who has drank away all his social connections, it can be an elderly person who can no longer live independently but cannot face moving into a nursing home.

The loneliest I have felt was during my time living overseas. I was there because of my partner. When I arrived I did not expect to be there for long. I was there for many years. During that time I did make some wonderful friends with whom I am still in contact. I also had some wonderful experiences that I wouldn't want to have missed for the world. But, I was very lonely, particularly in my first two years. It was my first experience of not having a family. The complete absence of family made me feel very empty. Now that I can step back and look my past, I am able to reflect upon it. The biggest change for me is much deeper sense of compassion and admiration for refugees and asylum seekers, all those who flee their homelands to settle in a completely unknown place. I cannot imagine the loneliness this experience afflicts upon them. It took me a little while to make friends. Starting off in a new place always does. I would never want to go back to that feeling of emptiness again.

How many people who write these blogs are lonely? I wonder if blogs can be a way of lonely people reaching out to others. Perhaps reading a another person's blog can make someone feel connected to the world. I wonder if a blog could have helped me during my loneliest time?